The most loyal girlfriend, no matter who she is dating, shall always have options. In the event there are temptations or unpalatable developments in her love life, there will always be another guy she can fall for — wena wati kutsi uyatifela ngawe.
It happens the same way you spot a beautiful lass, approach her, akugane — all while you already have your own girlfriend who believes you love her. Gentlemen, believe Societal Scales here: the woman you think you have in a solid relationship never stops scanning the room for what might be better than what you offer — akutsandza asha emashushu ngawe.
For that reason, she won’t ignore the guy who winks at her, sends short sweet messages, or flirts openly — even if you are in the very same room her romantic eyes are sizing up and down.
Whenever your girlfriend is spending time with you, Mgugumadzi, mfana waNdzinisa, she may receive calls she ignores or simply silence.
That’s not a colleague.
Not her mother.
Not a relative disturbing your peace.
It is a man she willingly gave her number to.
It’s just that the timing is wrong.
Otherwise, she very much wants to hear what he has to say. If you were discerning enough, you’d notice she wanted to pick up — but wouldn’t be comfortable with what she would say in front of you.
As soon as she leaves you, utamshayela lomshayi walolocingo and apologise for not responding earlier.
With such options, women have shocked many boyfriends who were dead sure they had locked loyalty into their hearts, loins, and wallets. She will agree to be wedded by another fella — while you thought you were safe.
Here is Mgugumbane Trevor Tsabedze taking his girlfriend, Nomfutfumalo Sifundza, out with friends. The weather suddenly turns chilly.
Before the boyfriend could act, a gentleman from the crowd draped his warm jacket over Nomfutfumalo’s shoulders — then disappeared into the dancing crowd.
The boyfriend was not amused.
But the woman asked: How could she refuse such kindness? Afuna imfutfumalo.
Believe Scales here — she had already scanned the vicinity and noticed someone more thoughtful and provident than her boyfriend. She had smelled the masculine cologne. From the expensive jacket to the perfume, she had concluded this was a man of means.
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In one of the jacket pockets? Her contact details were tucked inside.
She crossed floors eventually.
Mgugumbane lost her to the man who provided warmth when it was needed most.
You can lose your girlfriend under any circumstance — not because you are bad — but because she looked around and saw better.
A woman’s loyalty lasts only as long as she chooses. It can be transferred to the next “better” man.
This is not to say men are loyal either. On a fair scale, women too have preferences — even after being loyal to you.
She is at liberty to exercise choice and change her mind about you, mfanakithi.
A young man once packed a church, ready to propose before the congregation.
Everything had been arranged.
But the woman wore a simple dress — she did not look like someone whose special day had arrived.
After the pastor announced that Mcondisi had something to say, the young man knelt and asked for her hand in marriage.
She refused.
“Ngicela usuke tsine Mcondisi, I am not ready to be your wife.”
Gasps filled the church.
Rumour had it that at her workplace — a bank — a new employee had been assigned to her department. They had grown inseparable. She changed her mind not only about marriage — but about him entirely.
In scanning the room, she found better across her banking desk.
Intfombi ayikuceli kukwala. Ivele ikwale nje uma ingasakufuni noma seyitfole loncono kunawe.
Even if a woman has your child, she still stands on solid ground to scan the room and compare you to the next candidate.
Many baby mamas belong to other men today because they changed their minds about the father.
Friends can influence her.
Family can influence her.
Even the church can influence her.
Her circle may discredit you. Take her to gatherings hoping she meets someone “better.” Families may not envision you as umkhwenyana. They highlight your flaws until she begins scanning the room herself.
In church they preach: Ungaboshelwa nababi.
And if you are not a worshipper? The pastor might match her with an “eligible bachelor” in the congregation — placing them in committees together so they bond.
Have you not heard of pastors marrying teachers, nurses, and congregants who once had boyfriends elsewhere? The previous boyfriends were de-campaigned inside the house of the Lord.
No man must rest on his laurels thinking he has a woman hooked permanently.
So long as you breathe, there is a man out there who, in your girlfriend’s eyes, is romantically better than you.
If he approaches her, she may think twice.
But she may agree.
That, gentlemen, is the dating DNA of a woman — ever scanning for better.
