Women have been advised against treating romantic relationships as a meal ticket out of poverty.
Bonginkhosi Dludlu of Manzini Full Gospel Church of God shared this advice during the Umjolo Indaba held on Saturday at Ursel Guest House in Manzini.
The event was organised by Young Life Eswatini under the theme ‘Lenyoka Loyifihlile Itakuluma.’
It drew young people eager to engage in candid discussions about relationships, marriage and personal growth.
Addressing attendees, Dludlu lamented what he described as a dramatic shift in relationship dynamics between past and present generations.
He noted that in earlier years, women would take up to two years to thoroughly know their suitors before accepting marriage proposals. Today, he said, relationships were often initiated and “sealed” within hours through social media platforms such as WhatsApp.
“This generation has reversed things. In the past, women took time to know their suitors before accepting proposals. Nowadays, proposals are accepted before truly knowing the admirer,” Dludlu said.
He attributed this shift to misguided motives, arguing that many people enter relationships or marriage for the wrong reasons, particularly financial security.
“Relationships should never be used as a bridge from poverty to wealth,” he emphasised.
Dludlu expressed concern that some women openly declare that they would not date men who are financially unstable or without cars.
According to him, such attitudes often lead individuals to tolerate abuse simply to avoid returning to a life of hardship.
He encouraged women to pursue independence and self-sufficiency.
“It is wrong to enjoy a pizza bought for you by a man when you cannot afford to buy one yourself,” he remarked.
The pastor further advised young women to avoid relationships with men who lack purpose and direction in life.
“It is better to remain single than to commit yourself to someone who has no purpose or a plan in life,” he said.
Dludlu added that while some individuals may be suitable for casual dating, they were not necessarily husband or wife material — a mismatch he said often results in short-lived marriages.
He also reminded attendees that relationships should be pursued in alignment with Christian values, stressing that sex outside marriage remains a sin.
In addition, he encouraged young people to apply logic before emotions in relationships, warning that emotional attachment can cloud judgment and cause individuals to ignore obvious red flags, sometimes leading to painful and public heartbreak.
Motivational speaker Futhi Dlamini, popularly known as Sunshine, echoed Dludlu’s sentiments.
“Do not mistake lust for love,” she cautioned.
She urged young people not to compromise when they encounter warning signs in relationships and advised them to choose their associations wisely to avoid unhealthy marriages.
Dlamini emphasised the importance of self-awareness and self-love, noting that individuals who understand their worth are less likely to seek validation from partners.
“If you do not have peace in your spirit about a relationship, you must remove yourself from that companionship,” she advised.
Meanwhile, Dr Senhle Nxumalo offered a sobering perspective, stating that love and vulnerability were inseparable.
“You cannot love someone and fully protect yourself from getting hurt,” he said.
Nxumalo observed that many relationship conflicts stem from unrealistic expectations. When those expectations go unmet, disappointment and emotional pain often follow.
He encouraged young people to manage their expectations carefully to reduce unnecessary heartbreak.
Meanwhile, the Umjolo Indaba served as a reflective platform, challenging young people to approach relationships with wisdom, discernment and intentionality.
