For any boyfriend who is keen to exercise his authority and duties as a husband too early, let it be registered in the solid minds that a girlfriend is not as yet a wife and may never be for that matter.
It is imperative then to draw conspicuous parameters between the person your girlfriend is, what makes her tick and what she owns as a legal person, konkhe lokungesiko kwakho mntfwanababe but solely belonging to her noma ayintfombi yakho!
For that reason, girls are wary of declaring to their boyfriends what they are worth, their intentions to accrue more wealth and their moves to invest in themselves so they are better people in the future.
Whilst honesty and transparency are rules of the dating game, no law demands women, men even, to tell their partners what they own. It remains with one’s choices whether they do or not tell as much.
It would seem men are not happy to discover later that the women they date have so much, especially when they would have spent on them, yet she had not declared. He will coil and somehow become smug and cold in the relationship.
In some instances, their dating ties would be severed for two reasons. The man believes she has been dishonest not to declare what she owns and she is adamant she wasn’t and still not compelled to him kutsi unani yena. Each between these two souls may decide at any point in time that they part ways, hence it ain’t prudent to declare it all.
Gentleman Jimmy, let’s call him that, fell in love with this banker Tsengisile Hlanze and the affair was destined for a future legalised union, which status was indeed achieved.
However, whilst they dated lajabula kakhulu lelija ha and declared all the immovable property he owned and further showed her how fluid his accounts were at the bank.
She didn’t declare anything save for the things that were obvious, which were evident and disposable for her use.
When they got married the lady got to strike. She wanted the house which the gentleman owned sold immediately and that the money he had be availed for a house they should buy.
He complied!
Later, in the years the guy’s contractual employment was not renewed, and he was out in the cold for a long time. The woman, on the other hand, was flourishing at work and on the other sides.
When a court case appeared in the media involving a tenant and a landlady the husband was shocked that the property owner, a disputant in the matter, was his wife.
She owned a string of rental apartments and collected over E50 000 monthly in rent. Indeed, he had to confront his wife about this, which she did not deny.
Her answer to that was simple,
“Bengingesiye umfati wakho nangakha letindlu yeMdluli.”
She further insisted she was not obliged even at the time of conflict to declare ngoba tintfo tasebutfobhini bakhe leti.
This caused friction between him and the woman who even reminded the man that he declared what he owned on his own choice akazange asacindzetelwe nguye.
Believe Scales here, your wife may be worth far more than you will ever know because whilst she was still your girlfriend she accumulated wealth, assets and property she never told you about!
Not only are you an authoritative control freak, but as a boyfriend, Balungile, your girlfriend has long realised you don’t clap hands each time she scores. You are somehow a chauvinist who believes she decides what she does and what she doesn’t.
This woman told his man she was buying a house, and the bank had approved her loan.
The guy went red asking why she would have to go that far without his approval and wanted to know what would happen to the house when they got married.
The woman was upset as well and from that reaction, in that moment, decided she was going to end this affair.
In her next love life, she ensured that kute nje umfana lamganile layomtjela kutsi utsengeni, unani nekutsi ufuna kwentani ngemali yakhe.
Unless a woman is overly endearing herself to a man she dates, she will not even tell him she is buying a car.
Mkhakhameli Magongo, an economist who always complained each time he had to pick up his girlfriend got things differently this day they had to attend an event together.
He was grudgingly asking what time he was supposed to pick her up.
“Ungangilandzi Magongo, sitokhandzana phambili.”
She alighted from a sleek, shiny and new SUV whose spectacle dazzled the place and turned heads amongst other guests arriving at the event.
Of all those who clapped hands, the boyfriend was none of them.
Wakhukhumuka nje Mkhakhameli kubonakala kutsi uyagongonyeka waMagongo throughout the celebrations. His gripe was that she never told him she was buying a car.
The woman reminded him later how much he complained of fuel costs and tyres each time she needed a ride from him.
From that day, when he couldn’t clap hands for her, she ensured she would declare nothing of magnitude to the fella and the relationship was strained to a dangerous break.
Here is a paradox, whilst women may be cagey on what they own or economically generate, they can be clingy and pose some kind of entitlement to what their boyfriends own.
No woman is going to tell you what she owns lest she suffers prejudice against your wallet.
Labanye bafana bayayesaba intfombi lenemali more than they have bese bayesaba nekuyipha lemali in fear she will not appreciate peanuts.
Besides, she may not be the guy’s only girlfriend, whilst amupha lolomunye umgcaki wakhe, akamniki yena because he considers her rich and does not need such monetary gestures – ‘girlfriend allowance’.
Some men become parasites towards what their girlfriends have to the extent that nemali yemalobolo nje angahle ayiboleke lakulodzadze.
This non-declaration is thus a protection of what she possesses before she is married which may be abused by yourself in the interim.
Mngcongcodzi Mamba, despite being a good guy, was extremely extravagant with his personal resources. No sooner would he have bought a piece of land than he would dispose same only to squander the money mainly on fun.
His girlfriend Bambisile, on the other hand, was thrifty, progressive and disciplined.
However, several times she would have her to-be husband knocking at her door pleading that akameboleke imali for this or that.
In the event alandvule, he would suggest they sell whatever she had so he could be rescued.
She did this once or twice and realised kutsi uyaphela kulengwenya le. She zipped her lips at whatever she accrued.
When they were about to get married, she realised umjitha had absolutely nothing save for his monthly salaries and if it were to freeze, he would be her absolute responsibility.
She sternly warned her parents not to entertain an idea of bakhongi because the guy was banking on what she had that they got married.
In any case, nobody has ever coerced men as boyfriends to declare to their girlfriends what they own.
