By their disposition to romance, women can only avail themselves as amiable and amicable to masculine pursuance, but have no choice on who really approaches them.
The only discretion that comes as a count of balance is that they decide kutsi bagana bani kulemfowane yebafana lababasomako, or who they jilt to choose again.
One would assume they would have used acute judgement to choose over the rest of the suitors and pick a guy who ticks all the romantic boxes. Here is an imbalance, however, this lady of good social standing will fail herself in choice, she will choose and find love in a hopeless masculine space.
This will be a selection much to her relationship and marital detriment. This guy, even if he appeared to have been correct in many points, ain’t a viable candidate at all.
Women have done bad, oftentimes, wherein societal bystanders would be shocked how on earth did she even find such a guy as her suitable choice, not only for a date but also for a spouse.
You see, the woman who appears confident and in control may be the most vulnerable when it comes to love relationships with men.
Udlalwa kwemfana nje lokuholela ibhasi yakubo solo akugana asafundza sikolwa.
Beyond university she still dates this hopeless guy and has two brats with him he is not even taking care of. Whilst he is all over the place dating every Mary, Lomhlambiso and Senty amongst commuters ebhasini yakubo the woman believes he shall settle with him someday.
Parents have watched their daughters swimming in abject messy relationships nebafana labedzelelako nje and who may be subjecting them to a plethora of abusive treatment. Talk of umfana lohamba netintfombi takhe letinye with your daughter’s car.
Yinhlupheko ke yelutsandvo but she would just not leave the guy!
People of Kutsimuleni had always thought of Nonto and Menzi as true Romeo and Juliet of the times, for from high school they had been inseparable.
They stood parental and teachers’ strict punishment for their affair and would just not part ways.
Their patents’ anger subsided when the two passed matric very well and were both admitted at university for good courses and the future looked really bright. Lo and behold! when they started working, the young man was introduced unto drinking and he dived unto the unholy waters, hooker, line, and sinker.
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The woman tolerated a lot of negative changes from the guy from unexplained disappearances to being a public spectacle of embarrassment adzakwe aze abuke ngeliso linye esilungwini. She stood by him and it was clear to all and sundry that she was still deeply in love with him.
When he finally sent omalume to Nonto’s people uthando lwacalela phasi. That was to be a short-lived joy.
The guy was expelled from work for absenteeism, for he was then an inebriate who came to work in questionable states of sobriety. Many people, even family members, thought that would be the end of the affair, it was not.
The woman tenaciously held unto the guy who was then drinking like a lost sailor everywhere, anytime, and anyhow. He would come to her apartment in the most ungodly hour and believe Scales, wonkhe locashe edvute nasisi utawuvuka; asefikile Menziwezinto zonke.
In the event she wouldn’t open bekungena nesivalo kwenkalakatha.
Someday, he was hit by a runaway vehicle and discovered in the morning out and cold. The woman, his fiancé then, was inconsolable.
In his thirties, they were not as yet married, had three children together and now she was a single mother. Her plight had been orchestrated by her finding love in a hopeless space!
Young women who date married men are in a catch. This man will do anything and everything for her, but he is married and probably shall never be her husband too.
Just when she is nursing hopes he will leave his wife and marry her, she will bump unto the former very pregnant, so much for a woman whose husband lied they no longer had sex.
Notwithstanding the statistical holding the country, the world even, harbours, there are more women than men, you shall never find a truly single lady who ain’t dating.
The crux of the matter labanye babo bagane emadvodza lanebafati, others balimfomfo emfaneni munye. The guy is just enjoying both worlds, his wife’s, and that of the girlfriend. In the affair the girlfriend is committed to the man and the latter will never let go of his wife. Men are running multi-households; their families’ and those of their girlfriends, they know they shall never get married to.
Imagine that is your daughter and to date, she has not brought to you any prospective son-in-law, naye kute futsi lake wamikiswa khona kuyawubonwa bemtini because lisoka lakhe yindvodza leyashada.
Wouldn’t you consider umntfwana wakho to have found love in a hopeless and pathetic space?
No sooner had Mkhekhelezi promised Nomfutfumalo kumteka kulobobusika than social media splashed pictures of himself and his wife celebrating twenty beautiful years of marriage.
The guy was rededicating himself to love his wife yena yedvwa. The girlfriend was just floored by these confessions, commitments and all the love spewed in that event, especially when she compared same to what had been said and promised to her by the same guy. She concluded that, bafana bonkhe bekushiswa nje whether young, old, mature, or married!
There is so much abusive conduct, violence, and ill-treatment in love these days yet societal daughters are stuck with lamashobolo ebafana.
Your sister may have rejected a gentleman and fell in love with a rogue. Kuyamshaya, kuyamhlukubeta, akondli yet she remains in this affair.
Societally women have been beaten to a pulp and even killed all in a name of being in love in a hopeless space. Ukushaya nini nje umfana longakutsatsanga?
For society knows, each of the two parties can decide to sever the romantic ties if they ain’t pleased with the other’s conduct or when they have met better.
Mshoshombane Malambe had his incarceration brought to an end, his girlfriend, a victim of his violence, spent the whole night ancenga emaphoyisa to release the guy. She verily believed he would never do it again. Female officers had converged around her at the police station relating similar incidents where women in love have even been killed by boyfriends. In the following weeks she was killed by the same boyfriend; batsi akazange asamcolele nje kutsi wambophisa.
Our sister colleagues come to work with blue eyes, bruises and even open injuries having been beaten by boyfriends. Few weeks down the line she would have posted the same guy in all social platforms ambonga ngako konkhe lokuhle langiko in her life.
This leaves society confused whether she is abused or happy in her relationship with the guy.
Those who know her close will tell you she was in a hopeless space for love.
The balance, however, lies in that love itself whether prudent, rewarding, or frustrating can place someone in a hopeless space. No romance has never given anyone in the worst of feelings and experiences even if turns out to be a success story!
